Hilarious and ignorant teachings of Allah

Devoted Muslims are ready to kill those who ridicule their Prophet or religion. But these concerned citizens merely divulge what the Islamic Scriptures are telling, thus they are not inventing stories against Islam. Their main purpose is to tell the Muslims that they are misled by a fake prophet so that they might turn to the religion of truth (the one founded by Jesus). The exposers’ references are coming from Qur’an, Hadiths, and other Scriptures written by Muslim scholars, thus these sources are reliable. As expected, Muslim apologists would try very hard to defend these laughable side of their Faith. I appeal to the Muslim apologists to stop covering your religion just because this is the Faith of your forefathers, instead disclose its true nature. What is the use of your principle if your soul will be thrown into the fiery lake? Those who refused to love the truth will perish [2 Thessalonian 2:10]. Allah teaches its believers to deceive other people, this is one of the works of Satan. This god Allah has no connection to the God of Israel (Yahweh) at all. The words “Allah, Muhammad, Islam, Muslim, Kaabah, Shahada, Tawhid, Black stone, & Tawaf” are nowhere to be found in the Bible. Muhammad wasn’t able to confirm his prophethood with a miracle, and died from poison. And his teachings are mostly opposite to the teachings of Moses and Jesus. Muhammad’s religion is centered only on Kaaba, the worship place of Allah the moon god. Islam is a witless religion, below are proofs of its ridiculous and superstitious teachings;

QUOTED FROM QURAN

1.) ALLAH CREATED SEVEN FLAT EARTHS AND SKIES AND LAID THEM ON THE BACK OF A WHALE (NUN)

[68:1] Nun. By the pen and what they inscribe 

[Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir on the meaning of Surah 68:1]:

It was said that Nun refers to a great whale that rides on the currents of the waters of the great ocean and on its back it carries the seven Earths, . . .  Then Allah created the “Nun” (Whale) and He caused steam to rise out of which the heavens were created and the Earth was then laid flat on nun’s back. . . 

[Al-Qurtubi’s Tafsir on the meaning of Surah 68:1]: 

Mujahid related that ‘Nun’ is the whale that is underneath the seventh earth. He stated that the ‘Pen’ is what was used to write ‘Al-Thikir’ (The Remembrance – Quran). Likewise, it was also narrated by Mukatil, Murrah Al-Hamdani, Ata’ Al-Kharasani, Al Suddi and Al-Kalbi who all said, “Nun is the whale upon which all the earths are placed.” 

ALSO READ: Bahamut

Video 1: The Nun that carries the 7 flat Earths on its back

2.) THE NERVOUS WHALE CAUSED THE EARTH TO SHAKE  

[68:1] Nun. By the pen and what they inscribe 

[Explanation or tafsir of Ibn Kathir]: 

Then Allah created the “Nun” (Whale) and He caused steam to rise out of which the heavens were created and the Earth was then laid flat on nun’s back. Then the Nun (Whale) became nervous and as a result the earth began to sway, but Allah fastened the earth with mountains lest the earth should move 

[Tafsir of Al-Tabari]: 

. . . God then lifted up the water vapor and split the heavens off from it. Then God created the fish (Nun), and the earth was spread out upon its back. The fish became agitated, with the result that the earth was shaken up. It was steadied by means of the mountains, for they indeed proudly tower over the earth.

3.) THE SUN SETS IN A MUDDY OR WATERY PORTION OF EARTH

[18:85-86] Until, when he reached the setting place of the sun, he found it setting in a spring of black muddy (or hot) water. And he found near it a people. We (Allah) said (by inspiration): “O Dhul-Qarnain! Either you punish them, or treat them with kindness. 

COMMENT: This is greatly erroneous, unscientific, and hilarious. The god of Islam who claims the creator of the universe is very ignorant about their creation. Allah thought that the sun is as small as our naked eyes could see it, and it sinks into the muddy portion of Earth every afternoon.  This swamp belongs to a village because there are people who live near it. I wonder how these people manage to withstand the sun’s heat. Additionally, the sun is extremely far away from us and enormously bigger than the Earth, how could it dives into the watery surface of the Earth? Even a child knows that the sun is far away from Earth. It shows that a child is more intelligent than Allah and their prophet. Lastly, the sun is extremely hot, it will burn and explode the planet that gets closer to it. As usual, Muslim defenders try to cover this shame by telling you that it has a deep meaning, but their prophet declared this statement literally [Sunan Abu Dawud, 3991]. Why is it necessary for Allah to cover their meaningful statements with an ignorant statements?

4.) THE SUN RISES ON A PEOPLE

[18:90] Until, when he came to the rising of the sun, he found it rising on a people for whom We had not made against it any shield.

COMMENT: Like the preceding verses this statement is erroneous, unscientific, and hilarious. The sun is 150,000,000 kilometers away from Earth, how could it rise from the face of the Earth? In Florida sometime ago, their temperature had reached up to 60 degrees centigrade, thus hospitalized the people. How much more if the sun rises in their midst? Moreover, the sun is a million times bigger than the Earth, how could a huge thing emerge from a tiny thing?

5.) INVISIBLE PILLARS ERECTED BETWEEN THE SKY AND EARTH

[13:2] It is Allah who erected the heavens without pillars that you [can] see; then He established Himself above the Throne and made subject the sun and the moon, each running [its course] for a specified term. He arranges [each] matter; He details the signs that you may, of the meeting with your Lord, be certain. 

[Tafsir of Ibn Kathir]: 

(..without any pillars that you can see.) meaning, `there are pillars, but you cannot see them,’ according to Ibn `Abbas, Mujahid, Al-Hasan, Qatadah, and several other scholars. . . .

6.) THE SUN AND MOON ARE JOINED TOGETHER DURING ECLIPSE

[75:8-9] And the moon is eclipsed And the sun and the moon are joined together

COMMENT: This is totally erroneous, ridiculous, and superstitious. The truth is, before the moon touches the sun, it will explode. 

7.) THE EARTH AND SKY WERE ONCE JOINED

[21:30] Have those who disbelieved not considered that the heavens and the earth were a joined entity, and We separated them and made from water every living thing? Then will they not believe?

COMMENT: How can an object and empty space be joined together, then later be separated? Allah thought that the sky is solid. Furthermore, not every living thing is made from water as claimed in the verse, a man for example is made from dust.

8.) THE SKY IS A ROOF OR CANOPY?

[21:32] And we have made the sky a roof withheld (from them). Yet they turn away from its portents. 

[79:28] 

On high hath He raised its canopy, and He hath given it order and perfection.

He raised its ceiling and proportioned it. 

COMMENT: We know that in actuality, the sky is an empty space. Since in Islam there are seven heavens, each of them is separated by roof or canopy.

9.) FRAGMENTS OF SKY CAN FALL UPON EARTH

[34:9] Do they not see how the heavens and the earth encompass them from the front and the rear? We could, if We so wished, cause the earth to swallow them or let fragments of the sky fall upon them. Verily there is a Sign in this for every servant (of Allah) who penitently turns to Him.

COMMENT: Since Allah thought that the sky is a canopy or solid structure, They also thought that it can be broken into fragments and can fall upon Earth.

10.) THERE ARE SEVEN HEAVENS OR SKIES

[Quran 65:12] Allah is He Who created seven skies and of the earth a similar number. Through the midst of them (all) descends His Command: that ye may know that Allah has power over all things, and that Allah comprehends, all things in (His) Knowledge.

11.) THE STARS WERE MADE BY ALLAH AS PROTECTION AGAINST REBELLIOUS DEVIL

[37:6-7] Indeed, We have adorned the nearest heaven with an adornment of stars, And as protection against every rebellious devil 

12.) THE STARS WERE MADE BY ALLAH AS MISSILES FOR SHOOTING EVIL SPIRITS 

[67:5] And we have, (from of old), adorned the lowest heaven with Lamps, and We have made such (Lamps) (as) missiles to drive away the Evil Ones, and have prepared for them the Penalty of the Blazing Fire. 

COMMENT: Muhammad (alias Allah) really thought that burning meteors in the Earth’s atmosphere were stars and could be fired as missiles. Had he truly inspired by God, he would have known that meteors are not stars. The sun is a medium-sized star and is a Million times bigger than the Earth. Imagine what would happen if there are many suns that are fired through the Earth’s atmosphere? 

13.) ALLAH’S THRONE WAS ON THE WATER

[11:7 ] And He it is Who has created the heavens and the earth in six Days and His Throne was on the water, that He might try you, which of you is the best in deeds. But if you were to say to them: “You shall indeed be raised up after death,” those who disbelieve would be sure to say, “This is nothing but obvious magic.”

COMMENT: Idolatry is forbidden by Allah, but in the verse above he commanded his angels to worship a man. Allah must have a fickle mind.

14.) A TUNNEL INTO EARTH AND A STAIRWAY INTO THE SKY

[6:35] And if their evasion is difficult for you, then if you are able to seek a tunnel into the earth or a stairway into the sky to bring them a sign, [then do so]. But if Allah had willed, He would have united them upon guidance. So never be of the ignorant.

15.) THE AROUSAL FLUID GOES OUT FROM THE BACKBONE OF MAN AND FROM RIBS OF WOMAN

[86:6-7] “He was created from a fluid, ejected, emerging from between the backbone and the ribs”

Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir on the meaning of Surah 86:6-7]: 

(Proceeding from between the backbone and the ribs.) meaning, the backbone of the man and the ribs of the woman, which is referring to her chest. Shabib bin Bishr reported from `Ikrimah who narrated from Ibn `Abbas that he said,

COMMENT: This is erroneous and totally wrong, sperm or semen does not come from the backbone of the man and ribs of woman. How is it possible that the creator who knows all things, does not know where sperm or semen comes from? This is one of the many proofs that it was Muhammad who concocted the Koranic verses and not revealed by God. 

16.) ALLAH FORMED THE BONES (SKELETON) OF THE FETUS FIRST BEFORE HE COVERED IT WITH FLESH 

[23:14] Then We made the Nutfah into a clot, then We made the clot into a little lump of flesh, then We made out of that little lump of flesh bones, then We clothed the bones with flesh, and then We brought it forth as another creation. So blessed be Allah, the Best of creators.

17.) THE CATTLE’S MILK LIES IN HER BELLY BETWEEN HER FECES AND BLOOD

[16:66] And most surely there is a lesson for you in the cattle; We give you to drink of what is in their bellies– from betwixt the feces and the blood– pure milk, easy and agreeable to swallow for those who drink.

18.) KING SOLOMON HAS A FLYING CARPET THAT CAN FLY WITH HIS KINGDOM 

·[21:81] And WE subjected to Solomon the violent wind. It blew, at his bidding, toward the land which WE had blessed. And WE have knowledge of all things.

[Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir on the meaning of Surah 21:81]:

(running by his command towards the land which We had blessed.) meaning, the land of Ash-Sham (Greater Syria).

(And of everything We are the All-Knower.) He had a MAT MADE OF WOOD on which he would place all the equipment of his kingship; horses, camels, tents and troops, then he would command the wind to carry it, and he would go underneath it and it would carry him aloft, shading him and protecting him from the heat, until it reached wherever he wanted to go in the land. Then it would come down and deposit his equipment and entourage.

·[34:12] And to Solomon WE subjected the wind; its morning course was a month’s journey and its evening course was a month’s journey too. And WE caused a fount of molten copper to flow for him. And of the jinn were some who worked under him by the command of his Lord. And WE said that whoever of them turned away from Our command, WE would make him taste the punishment of the burning fire.

[Ibn Kathir’s tafsir on the meaning of Surah 34:12]: 

The Favors which Allah bestowed upon Sulayman

Having mentioned the blessings with which He favored Dawud, Allah follows this by mentioning what He gave to Dawud’s son Sulayman (Solomon), may peace be upon them both. He subjugated the wind to him, so that it would carry his CARPET one way for a month, then back again the next month. Al-Hasan Al-Basri said, “He set out from Damascus in the morning, landed in Istakhar where he ate a meal, then flew on from Istakhar and spent the night in Kabil.” Between Damascus and Istakhar is an entire month’s travel for a swift rider, and between Istakhar and Kabul is an entire month’s travel for a swift rider. 

19.) KING SOLOMON DIED LEANING ON HIS STAFF, AND NOBODY HAD DISCOVERED IT UNTIL HE DROPPED BECAUSE THE WORM HAD EATEN HIS STAFF

[34:14] And when We decreed for Solomon death, nothing indicated to the jinn his death except a creature of the earth eating his staff. But when he fell, it became clear to the jinn that if they had known the unseen, they would not have remained in humiliating punishment.

[Ibn Kathir’s tafsir on the meaning of Surah 34:14]:

The Death of Sulayman

Allah tells us how Sulayman, peace be upon him, died and how Allah concealed his death from the Jinn who were subjugated to him to do hard labor. He remained leaning on his stick, which was his staff, as Ibn `Abbas may Allah be pleased with him, Mujahid, Al-Hasan, Qatadah and others said. He stayed like that for a long time, nearly a year. When a creature of the earth, which was a kind of worm, ate through the stick, it became weak and fell to the ground. Then it became apparent that he had died a long time before. It also became clear to Jinn and men alike that the Jinn do not know the Unseen as they (the Jinn) used to imagine and tried to deceive people. 

[Ibn Abbas tafsir on the menaing Surah 34:14]: 

(And when We decreed death for him) for Solomon, Solomon died and remained standing in his retreat for a year (nothing showed his death) the death of Solomon (to them save a creeping creature of the earth) a woodworm (which gnawed away his staff) and it is said: his short spear. (And when he fell) when Solomon fell to the ground (the jinn saw clearly how) the jinn and human beings saw clearly that they do not know the unseen, (if they had known the unseen, they would not have continued in despised toil) they would not have continued in their subservience. People thought before this that the jinn knew the unseen but when they saw this they realised that they did not. 

20.) AN ARMY OF BIRDS CRUSHED THE ELEPHANTS BY STRIKING THEM WITH STONES OF CLAY

[105:1-5] Have you not considered, [O Muhammad], how your Lord dealt with the companions of the elephant? Did He not make their plan into misguidance? And He sent against them birds in flocks, Striking them with stones of hard clay. And He made them like eaten straw. 

COMMENT: How can small stones squash or crush a huge animal like elephant? 

21.) SOLDIERS OF JINNS, MEN, AND BIRDS MARCHING TOGETHER IN ROWS

[27:17] And gathered for Solomon were his soldiers of the jinn and men and birds, and they were [marching] in rows. 

COMMENT: Imagine what it looks like when Jinns (spirits), men, and birds line up and march together? Muhammad must be interested in fantasy.

22.) HOUSES MADE OF ANIMAL SKINS AND FURNITURE MADE OF ANIMAL HAIR 

[16:80] It is Allah who has made for you your homes as a place of rest and He made for you homes out of the skins of the cattle which you find portable on the day of your shifting and on the day of your halt, and out of their wool, their fur and hair furniture and wares [enduring] for a while.

23.) EVER-VIRGIN VAGINAS IN ALLAH’S PARADISE FOR THE JIHADISTS TO ENJOY

[56:35-38] “Lo! We have created them a (new) creation, And made them virgins, Lovers, friends, For those on the right hand” 

COMMENT: Some Muslim apologists dispute the authenticity of the Hadiths reporting the delicious 72 virgins as awards for Allah’s chosen people, but this Koranic verse confirms those reports.

Read: Ever-tight Pussies in Allah’s Paradise

24.) MOSES RAN AWAY IN FEAR WHEN HIS STAFF BECAME A SNAKE AND DID NOT COME BACK

[28:31] And [he was told], “Throw down your staff.” But when he saw it writhing as if it were a snake, he turned in flight and did not return. [Allah said], “O Moses, fear not. Indeed, in My presence the messengers do not fear. 

COMMENT: While this statement is so laughable, it is also inconsistent, because Moses and Allah talked to each other in verses 32-35. This indicates that Moses did not flee indeed. 

25.) IT’S THE TALKING PEN THAT WROTE THE FATE OF ALL THINGS

[68:1] Nun. By the pen and what they inscribe 

[Tafsir Al-Tabari on the meaning of Koran 68:1]

Someone might say: If it is as you have described, namely, that God created the earth before the heaven, then what is the meaning of the statement of Ibn ‘Abbas told all of you by Wasil b. ‘Abd al-A‘la al-Asadi- Muhammad b. Fudayl- al-A‘mash- Abu Zabyan- Ibn ‘Abbas: The first thing God created is the Pen. God then said to it: Write!, whereupon the Pen asked: What shall I write, my lord! God replied: Write what is predestined! He continued: And the Pen proceeded to write whatever is predestined and going to be to the Coming of the Hour. 

26.) TALKING SMOKY SKY AND EARTH

[41:11] Moreover He comprehended in His design the sky, and it had been (as) smoke: He said to it and to the earth: “Come ye together, willingly or unwillingly.” They said: “We do come (together), in willing obedience.”

COMMENT: While it is difficult to imagine a talking heaven/sky and Earth, Allah also erred in commanding the heaven (in smoke form) and Earth to come into being, because their beings were already there as mentioned in the verse. In fact they answered the call of Allah. Another error is that, the sky is not made from smoke, but rather a space that bears clouds, smokes, and others.

27.) TALKING BEAST

[27:82] And when the Word is fulfilled against them (the unjust), we shall produce from the earth a beast to (face) them: He will speak to them, for that mankind did not believe with assurance in Our Signs.

28.) TALKING ANTS

[27:18] Until, when they came upon the valley of the ants, an ant said, “O ants, enter your dwellings that you not be crushed by Solomon and his soldiers while they perceive not.”

29.) TALKING PALM TREE 

[19:23-24]  And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, “Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.”  But he called her from below her, “Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream”. 

30.) SOLOMON HAS RIGHTEOUS SERVANTS OF ANT AND HE COULD UNDERSTAND THEIR LANGUAGE 

[27:19] So [Solomon] smiled, amused at her speech, and said, “My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to do righteousness of which You approve. And admit me by Your mercy into [the ranks of] Your righteous servants.”  

COMMENT: How a righteous ant behaves?  

31.) PEOPLE ARE TAUGHT WITH THE LANGUAGE OF BIRDS

[27:16] And Solomon inherited David. He said, “O people, we have been taught the language of birds, and we have been given from all things. Indeed, this is evident bounty.” 

32.) SINGING MOUNTAINS AND BIRDS

[34:10] We bestowed grace aforetime on David from ourselves: “O ye Mountains! Sing ye back the Praises of Allah with him! and ye birds (also)! And We made the iron soft for him

33.) MOUNTAINS HAVE FEARFUL FEELINGS 

[33:72] There are stories of mountains that have fear 

34.) ALLAH TURNED THE JEWS INTO APES

[2:65] “And you know well the story of those among you who broke Sabbath. We said to them: “Be apes—despised and hated by all. Thus We made their end a warning to the people of their time and succeeding generation, and an admonition for God-fearing people.”

35.) RIVERS OF WINE, MILK, AND HONEY IN PARADISE

[47:15] Is the description of Paradise, which the righteous are promised, wherein are rivers of water unaltered, rivers of milk the taste of which never changes, rivers of wine delicious to those who drink, and rivers of purified honey, in which they will have from all [kinds of] fruits and forgiveness from their Lord, like [that of] those who abide eternally in the Fire and are given to drink scalding water that will sever their intestines? 

COMMENT: While Allah forbid Muslims to drink wine on Earth, They (Allah) will have their chosen people submerged in the rivers of wine in Paradise.

36.) RIVERS THAT FLOW BENEATH THE PARADISE

[5:119] Allah will say: “This is a day on which the truthful will profit from their truth: theirs are gardens, with rivers flowing beneath,- their eternal Home: Allah well-pleased with them, and they with Allah: That is the great salvation, (the fulfillment of all desires).

37.) ALLAH COMMANDED THE ANGELS TO WORSHIP ADAM

[7:11] “And We have certainly created you, [O mankind], and given you [human] form; Then We said to the angels, “Prostrate to Adam”; so they prostrated except for Iblees. He was not of those who prostrated.

38.) ALLAH AND THE ANGELS TOOK SHAHADA   

[3:18] Allah bears witness that there is no god but He, and (so do) the angels and those possessed of knowledge, maintaining His creation with justice; there is no god but He, the Mighty, the Wise.

39.) ALLAH SWORE BY MUHAMMAD AND WAS STRUCK BY HIS IMMENSE NOBLE STATUS 

[Quran 15:72] By your life, [O Muhammad], indeed they were, in their intoxication, wandering blindly.

Ibn Kathir’s Explanation:

Verily, by your life, in their wild intoxication, they were wandering blindly.) Allah swore by the life of His Prophet, which is an immense honor reflecting his high rank and noble status. `Amr bin Malik An-Nakari reported from Abu Al-Jawza’ that Ibn `Abbas said: “Allah has never created or made or formed any soul that is dearer to him than Muhammad. I never heard that Allah swore by the life of anyone else.

40.) ALLAH BEGGED MUHAMMAD TO FORGIVE THE SINS OF THE PEOPLE BECAUSE JUDGMENT IS NEAR 

42.) IF YOU LOAN TO ALLAH, HE WILL BE THANKFUL TO YOU FOREVER 

[64:17] In case you lend to Allah a fair loan, He will double it for you, and will forgive you; and Allah is Ever-Thankful, Ever-Forbearing 

43.) ALLAH DEMANDED CONSULTATION FEES FROM MUSLIMS IF THEY WANT TO TALK TO MUHAMMAD PRIVATELY 

[58:12] O believers! When you consult the Messenger privately, give something in charity before your consultation. That is better and purer for you. But if you lack the means, then Allah is truly All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

[58:13] Are you afraid of spending in charity before your private consultations with him? Since you are unable to do so, and Allah has turned to you in mercy, then continue to establish prayer, pay alms-tax, and obey Allah and His Messenger. And Allah is All-Aware of what you do.

44.) SINNERS WILL EAT PUS 

[69:36-37] Nor any food except from the discharge of wounds; None will eat it except the sinners

45.) TWO EASTS AND TWO WESTS 

[55:17] [He is] Lord of the two sunrises and Lord of the two sunsets.

46.) PEOPLE PRAYED TO ALLAH TO KNOW WHAT IS THE COLOR OF A SACRIFICIAL COW 

[2:69] They said: Pray for us unto thy Lord that He make clear to us of what colour she is. (Moses) answered: Lo! He saith: Verily she is a yellow cow. Bright is her colour, gladdening beholders. 

Video 2: A renown Sheikh said the Quran is a stupid book 

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